Hello world, welcome to the first Soul Talk, a blog from a traveling Soul Coach on her experiences and navigation through life.
I dedicate this first blog to my web designer and friend Carey Baker (www.midnightsondesigns.com). Without you, there wouldn’t be a website and you were the first one that advised me to start blogging about my travels, my lifeway navigation and my experiences. I apologize to myself and all of you that it has taken me so long. It has been a painful and challenging journey up to this point, with also lots of wonderful, joyful, beautiful and insightful experiences.
I had started to write about a year ago when I left my relationship of three years and my home in MA to find the connection with myself again. Winter had just started and I couldn’t see how I would get through this cold and dark time in my life and decided to take a break and visit a work related project in Baja Mexico. A few days after I had booked my flight I came down with an acute sciatica attack. This radiating pain started in my low back and went all the way down into my left leg. It has been so intense and the sensation never really left me, though the pain got less intense over time, so I knew that my body was telling me something and I started to write about my journey on “moving through pain…”
When I told one of my friends that I was writing about my experience with this pain and that I wanted to use this for my blog she said DON”T do that, nobody wants to read about being in pain…!
And again another three months went by and I had no motivation to write. A lot of my energy was taken away by my body being in pain and the survival mode that I was in, living a nomadic lifestyle with hardly any income coming in. The good news was that after I came back from Baja Mexico and I also lost my job that I had been able to spend my money on a one way ticket to Maui, Hawaii, knowing that I would be better of there than anywhere else, under these circumstances. Mother Maui and my friends had been good to me before so I took a leap of faith and knew I had a place to stay for at least the first few weeks. I lived on a different economy for two months, mostly trading with people and hoping that the universe would provide and it did, over and over again! If I only would have had the faith and trust than this could have been a very joyful experience and I definitely have had those joyful moments but I kept hearing that other voice, that was louder, saying: “what if you can’t find a place to stay tonight or what I f you don’t find work, what if they don’t like you and you can’t stay here, what if…the sky falls down and we’re all wearing a blue hat?
It was during one of my evening walks that my eye caught this fountain that kept changing colors. I decided to get a closer look and I noticed all the colors of the rainbow. This is something I’m using a lot in in my work and I’ve even developed a system to wear a color each day to balance your chakras and offer you a close connection with the universe. I felt instantly inspired and pulled out my camera to shoot a little video. While I’m looking at the screen I experience entering a meditative state and I notice an opening and moving of energy in my body. This only takes one minute. Looking back at it I realized I had stopped because of fear creeping in. I experienced a huge expansion and it scared the heck out of me. What could I do if …?
I didn’t find work on the side on Maui and it showed me again that it was not time yet to stay there so my journey continues on, back to my roots,. My three year younger sister is getting married, with another woman and she wants me to be her made of honor. She offers to pay for my flight to come back to the Netherlands and my parents offer me a place to stay. I was excited to be there for the wedding but not about the idea to stay there and definitely not to stay with my parents for a longer period of time but I decided at this point to take life one step at the time.
While I’m writing this I’m sitting in my old attic room of a tree story house build in 1900, listening to the raindrops hitting on the flat roof and feeling excited to start a new chapter in my life.
It all started with the one-minute video, which I had called “a rainbow fountain within…” A few weeks ago I saw on Facebook that the one minute film festival in Greenfield was looking for submissions and I immediately thought about the movie that I shot of the rainbow fountain on Maui. I remembered it already was one minute long so I didn’t really have to do much about it. The sounds and the colors would speak for itself but I kept feeling that there was something missing. The next day I’m listening to music created by my friend Matt Venuti (www.mattvenuti.com), who plays a musical instrument that is called the Hang. I met Matt on the bridge of flowers in Shelburne Falls, MA on one of my evening walks I believe two years ago now and I fell in love with his music right away. I remember saying to him after I bought the CD “Hang Soul” that it would be nice if , one day, me being a certified Soul Coach, we could create something together. I’ve listened to his CD numerous times but this time I’m also looking at the titles of the songs and I’m noticing that one of his songs is called “a fountain within” . Then I knew right away that this would be a perfect co-creation to have his music combined with my one-minute video and I only had to send him the video via e-mail and he turned it exactly into what I had envisioned.
Click here to see the video a rainbow fountain within
And there it was. I’d been waiting for this experience of feeling alive again, for a very long time, still in pain but fulfilled and joyful, to feel creativity as an essential fountain within…
What I’ve learned from this experience is that sometimes it doesn’t look like you can manifest your dreams or desires in life right away but in this case Matt and I did create something together, two years later and who knows what’s still yet to come. Even if the littlest thing or idea that you have that will bring you joy, don’t give up on creating it. Creativity is your essence and it wants to move. Do it only for yourself at first so it will stimulate those creative forces and help you get unstuck and feel alive.
If you want to paint and it doesn’t happen, go dance If you want to sing but you lost your voice, go write music. If you want to write and the words don’t come to you, go for a walk in nature. If you can’t move because you’re in pain, go write a business plan…
I got the message… do you?!